Rejection is one of the most talked-about parts of the acting industry, but knowing it is normal does not always make it easier to handle. For young actors, and for the parents supporting them, it can feel especially hard when effort, hope and preparation do not lead to the result everyone wanted. In this episode of The Drama Coach Podcast, Lisa talks with actor and filmmaker Rebecca Rendic about rejection, self-tapes, social media, comparison and the importance of staying grounded. Rebecca speaks honestly about her own experience of learning not to take rejection personally, and shares practical ways actors can protect their confidence while continuing to grow.
Episode overview
Rebecca explains that rejection affected her much more strongly when she was starting out. At first, an email saying a team had gone in a different direction would lead to questions like, “Why wasn’t I good enough?” Over time, she has learned to separate her own effort from the many decisions involved in casting. One of the most helpful shifts for Rebecca has been learning to feel confident in the work she submits. If she knows she has prepared well, understood the material and given her best version of the scene, it becomes easier to let go. Casting decisions can be shaped by height, look, hair colour, chemistry, availability, or a change in what the team decides they need. That does not mean the actor has failed. For young performers, this is a powerful reminder. The audition matters. The preparation matters. The courage to put yourself forward matters. Booking the role is not the only measure of progress.
Why rejection is not always about ability
Lisa and Rebecca discuss how easy it is for young actors to connect rejection with personal worth, especially if they are used to being praised for getting things right. Rebecca’s central message is simple and useful: rejection is often not about you. This does not mean actors should stop learning or ignore feedback. In fact, Rebecca is clear that training, honest coaching and constructive criticism are important. Young actors need encouragement, but they also need realistic guidance from people who can help them improve. Constant praise without useful feedback can create confusion when the industry responds differently. For parents, the balance can be tricky. It is natural to want to protect a child from disappointment, but young actors also need space to feel upset, recover and move on without carrying everyone else’s disappointment too. Rebecca shares that friends and family have sometimes been more upset about her rejections than she was, which made it harder for her to move forward.
Self-tapes, pressure and keeping the work alive
Self-tapes are a major part of the conversation. Rebecca admits that when she first started taping, she could spend hours trying to make one audition perfect. Now, she sets a limit on the number of takes, usually fewer than five and ideally between one and three. Her reason is practical. Too many takes can drain the energy from a scene. Instead of becoming more truthful, the performance can become more controlled and overworked. Keeping a limit helps recreate some of the pressure and freshness of being in the room, where an actor does not usually get endless chances. Rebecca also shares useful advice for readers, especially parents helping with self-tapes. A reader does not need to perform the scene fully. In fact, overacting can distract from the actor’s work. A natural, simple read often gives the performer enough to respond to without pulling focus.
Social media, comparison and community
The episode also looks at the role of social media. Rebecca acknowledges that it can be difficult when actors see others sharing exciting news, bookings or polished work. Comparison can creep in quickly. At the same time, she has found social media helpful for connection. By speaking more openly about rejection and the reality of the industry, actors can remind each other that they are not alone. Rebecca talks about wanting the industry to move away from a sense of constant competition and towards more support between actors. Lisa also raises an important point for parents managing young performers’ accounts: be careful about what is shared. Self-tapes, callbacks and project details should not be posted without permission, especially where confidentiality may be involved. Celebrating progress is important, but so is protecting the young actor and respecting the process.
Key takeaways for young actors and parents
- Rejection does not always reflect talent or effort.
- Confidence grows when you know you have prepared well.
- Self-tapes do not need endless takes to be effective.
- Parents can support without carrying or adding extra disappointment.
- Constructive feedback is more useful than constant praise.
- Having interests outside acting can help actors stay grounded.
Staying grounded beyond acting
Rebecca also talks about the importance of knowing who you are outside the industry. For her, work outside acting, time with loved ones, sport, hiking, journaling and self-awareness all help her stay balanced. She challenges the idea that actors should only care about acting. Having other interests does not make someone less committed. It can make them more rounded, resilient and connected to real life. That self-knowledge also supports the acting itself. Rebecca describes approaching roles by looking for truthful pieces of the character within herself, rather than pretending to be someone entirely separate. The more an actor understands themselves, the more they can bring depth and honesty to their work.
“It’s really not about you.” :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0}
This episode is a thoughtful reminder that the acting journey is not built only on bookings. It is built on training, self-awareness, courage, play, feedback, patience and the ability to keep going. For any young actor feeling knocked by rejection, and for any parent trying to support them well, Rebecca’s advice is both practical and reassuring: keep learning, keep things in perspective, and make sure the work still feels fun.